To the person this morning who …

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To the person who saw me this morning and said..

wait…. before we get to that story, let me tell you a story from just fifteen minutes prior.

I walked into Starbucks after placing my order online.  Today, unlike most days, it was not ready.  The barista was apologetic because I am a frequent caffeine flyer, but I smiled at her and told her not to worry, assuring her that it will get less busy.  She smiled back and continued filling the orders.  A person just behind me said, “hi, I guess you are waiting for your mobile order as well, huh?” I smiled and agreed, but said that it was okay, they were busier than usual.  We continued with idle banter, but it was pleasant, and I am always smiling and try to be positive.  His order was filled, he left, mine was filled shortly after and I left.

The point of my Starbucks story was that it was uneventful and I was simply happy to have my coffee and life was good.  Now,  let us fast forward to the good parts.

I arrived at my next location, I greeted the security clerk as I entered my office with a smile and a hello, she did the same and I got into the elevator.  There was a man in the elevator and he must have witnessed my exchange with the clerk and said “you are so bright and cheery, must be nice not having any real issues like the rest of us.”

The elevator door just opened as he finished with his statement and I politely said, “I hope you have a great day” and walked away.

Did I want to tell him to …. (expletives)?
Of course!

Did I?
Of course not.

Why?
What purpose would it serve, and why would I want to fuel a fire from a spark of a comment?  What benefit would it be to me?

For the person who made that comment, I wish they would have considered that just because a person chooses to be positive, chooses to smile, chooses to encourage, chooses to be kind and chooses to make other people happy, does not mean that they have been flowered with rose petals all their lives.  I have had a very rough life, I have been abandoned, I have been hurt, I have been cheated on, and the list goes on and on.  I … me…. myself, choose to be a light.  You should never let circumstances determine your destiny.  I will say it again.  You should never let circumstances determine your destiny.  Choose to be better, choose to be brighter, choose to be the person that you will be proud of, despite…. <fill in any blank here>.

Sincerely,
Author

Girls Night and the Drama!

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Five of us are sitting at a table in a restaurant, a few wine glasses are on the table and appetizers are on their way.  Katie is having a bit of trouble with her husband, Emily is having problems finding a man.  Clarissa is … just Clarissa, all dramatic.  Nina is the quiet one, she is younger but has two children and a really stable marriage that we all secretly hate her for.  I am, just me… (you will have to figure out your own descriptons about my personality). I will give you some hints as I go through our evening.

Katie found out that her husband John, had lunch with a female co-worker. I know John very well and he is a very faithful man.  Is there a possibility that he acted indecent? No! I can stake my reputation on it.  He loves Katie so much that he does those cute and romantic things for her, treats her well and it makes me want a person that would be so interested, involved and thoughtful.  Katie is insecure because she was cheated on prior to her relationship with John, and I can completely understand her feelings as well.  I hope I can help her understand that she has nothing to worry about.

Emily is a sweet person, she is a bit shy but once you open her up, she can be a bit too silly.  She is responsible, she is kind and she is one of those solid women who would make a great life partner for someone.  She struggles in the area of dating because she is shy and has been a bit too trusting in the past.  As an example, a few months ago, she was seeing a guy whom she completely gave into.  It was only a few dates and we were all wanting her to learn more about him.  It was a few more dates later that he revealed to her that he was married (but separated).  He would promptly get a divorce, and I am sure he had a lot more to add.  Emily did terminate the relationship quickly but was devestated.  I personally feel she needs some time to focus and heal.  Will she listen?

Clarissa is your typical drama queen.  Her whole life seems to be centered around dramatic moments and if none exist, she will create them.  She loves to embelish her stories, she gets really animated and she enjoys being the center of attention.  As an example, she had walked into the restaurant late, was looking for our table and we could hear her with the hostess, loudly exclaming why she was late, and that the cab was the most horrific experience of her life.  She finally found us and loudly settled herself into the empty place setting.  Nina is your silent one that will interject in conversation but she is usually the listener, the observer and the intellectually wise one, despite being the youngest.  She has a great marriage and her two kids are adorable and very respectful.  She has a good sense of humor but it takes approximately two wines for her to become chatty.  Our goal is to get her chatty so we are always on a question to get her there.  We all do absolutely adore her, but we are jealous.  She is so put together, confident, a career woman, super mom and puts notes in her kids’ lunch packs to tell them how much she loves them.  Insert barf smiley here.

Then we get to me!  I am simply awesome. Moving on, because I will not really talk about myself much, that is something you will need to figure out for yourself as I tell you the story.

Now why did I give you the background for my girlfriends?  Well, it is because I want to demonstrate some of the good qualities and not so good qualities through my night with them.  I want to show you the traits that we should all strive to have, and the traits that we need to curb.  Our world is becoming an increasingly negative place, and we get moulded daily by the things we take in.  Through this story, I hope to show you how to identify authentic people, how to tell if someone is being honest,  open-minded and there is a reciprocity in your realtionship with them.  I want to dive into what makes us have strong character and show us what to stay away from so we are not driven by our egos.  We need to live as our genuine selves.  It is only when we achieve this, that we will be fulfilled, gratified and lead a more positive life.

To re-iterate….

 

I am cheating a bit, and I am trying to write, while at work.  I tell you what we will do. I will update this post every couple of hours with different stories, and some juicy!  How about you follow me, and follow this post. You can write about your feelings and thoughts in the comments and I will respond back.

This story is just unfolding….

At the end of this story, I hope to teach you something very important. I do have a point to these endless ramblings, ha ha.  I wish to teach you the keys to find authentic people and how they act, work and conduct themselves.

More to come, thanks for reading so far. I will finish this today so keep coming back.
Oh and please….. share on your facebook. Share on your twitter, I want to really help others.  This is why I started this whole thing.

 

My quote for the day….

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

He did what?

7 This is a story about someone that I have known and respected for a very long time. The story starts like every fairytale, but as you will see, her “real life” humbled me, and I hope it humbles you, inspires you and gives you an awareness of the strength of this awesome woman. The story will start out with some context, but stick with me, ok? While I am thinking about it, are you following me yet?

Let’s get started!

I looked at her in high school and thought, wow, she has it all. She is pretty, kind, has a great friendships, works hard, is focused on her future and to top it off, she was a great basketball player. I was in love with who she was. I wanted to be her. I never did muster up the courage to talk to her in high school, it was college before our first hello’s happened, and quite by accident.

I had just finished my literature class and was headed to my car through a back stairwell, and she was arriving at the same time. No one really used that back stairwell too often and it would have been awkward not to say hi. I said hello, and she said hi back and used my name. She knew who I was? What? She struck up a conversation and we hit it off very well. We became friends and I have known her since.

Her fairytale continued as she graduated with a good career, she got engaged and then we used Facebook to stay in touch as our life paths took us in different directions. I saw the pictures from the wedding, she was beaming. A couple years later, she gave birth to the most adorable baby I have ever seen. I admittedly failed to call and check up on her, we grew apart. That is the sad truth. I stopped seeing her posts after a while and assumed she was just busy with life.

A couple years passed and I was catching up with another college friend who was a bit of a gossiper, but in this case, I was glad. She asked me “did you hear about…” My heart sank because we all know nothing good comes after those words. She explained how after she had a baby, her husband decided he did not want a baby and just left. Simply walked out. Um, what? I honestly thought it had to be a mistake but I played it off cool as I did not want to alert my gossip friend to my real feelings. After we hung up, I had work to do!

I called up my long lost friend and I apologized for not keeping in touch and asked how she was. She cried. I finally got it out of her that she was in a desperate situation and I knew something was very wrong. Let me stop for a moment and tell you about her personality and we can resume; does that sound good? She is the type of person who will never ask for help, she is a strong person and can take anything life can send her way. For her to break down, was equivalent to someone needing to call 999 or 911. Let us carry on with the story.

To skip past a few hours, my plane landed, I rented a car and I knew she did not want me to see her in whatever state she was, but I had assured her that it did not matter. I drove to the address and it somewhere in farm country, and the property was not ideal. This is not what I had expected, and my car had barely made it through the windy dirt road to get to her. The next couple of hours broke my heart, like it has never been broken before. I was tearing up but trying to stay strong.

After she openly shared how ‘he’ handled all the finances, she did not know what was going on, what bills were owed or where that accounts were. I will not bore you with the details on how we budgeted and the pains and struggles we both went through to get her to a manageable place, but I will tell you how she lives day to day. This is where my real story starts.

This is a person that lives paycheck to paycheck in the truest sense. She gets up in the morning at 5 (primarily because her daughter is the alarm clock). She plays with her, prays with her, feeds her breakfast and gets her ready for pre-school. She drives her there with her car that I fear might break any day. With a smile, a hug and a kiss, she parts with her infant. She then goes to her workplace and educates the young minds of today. She treats every one of her students like her own, and she takes such pride in their education, despite her own affairs. No one knows the hell she faces, when she leaves that place.

I have been helping her with her budgeting over the past few months, and each month, she barely scrapes by.  After everything has been paid, she is left with just under twenty dollars. What does she do with that overwhelming surplus? She invests it for her child’s college fun.

To her, a Starbucks coffee is equivalent to two meals, for her and her daughter. My heart continues to break as I try to help her through the next big project …. Working out arrangements with her debt collectors. Oh, did I mention she does not get child support and he is nowhere to be found?

I am now scrambled in my thoughts as I am angry, sad, hurt but proud that this single mom, stands up proud, smiles and says… “I will be okay, this is only temporary. I will do this for my daughter and myself.”

I am blessed, inspired and so thankful that I know a person who has shown me that in the most dire of situations, she is hopeful. I think I finally learned the true definition of hope.

Sincerely,
The Author

I want to give him a time out!

snoopypenalty

Ever have those mornings when you wake up on time but the world just seems to be moving a bit quicker than you are?  Today was this day for me.  If I leave the house precisely at 7:08 am, I will make it to work on time, however, if I leave the house after 7:10 am, my life is over!   Let me explain.  First, I get stuck trying to make a left hand turn out of my neighborhood because everyone has decided to leave past 7:10 am just to make my drive a bit more challenging.  After you finally take the left with an idiot honking behind you thinking you can magically make the oncoming traffic stop, you venture into the world of school buses.  Oh how I just love the flashing red lights and the children doddlling their way without a care in the world.  Finally, we start to move!  Exciting right?  Two or three near accidents are the norm as the commute begins. You arrive at work only to find a parking spot conveniently half a mile from the building but I actually don’t mind the walk. It is good exercise.  You go through your routine and get settled in.

I am now out of crazy morning mode, I am settled, I am focusing on work and I am booted up and getting ready to make it a great day!

He walks about, hovers around my desk and says, “hayy, howz it goin’ girl?”  Um, do you know how many thoughts went through my mind when I heard that?  Let me give you a few to enlighten you since you seem to be still reading this post.

  1. Why is this person talking to me, I have not ever said hi to them?
  2. Why does this person feel the need of using improper english on a first introduction?
  3. Why is this person wearning ripped jeans to a workplace?
  4. What is that I am smelling?
  5. I hope his long hair does not have lice, ew, wow, I need him gone.
  6. Was he waiting for me, stalking me?
  7. How long has he been waiting to talk to me?
  8. Should I be nice? no wait, scratch that.
  9. What possible motive could he have to say hello, or… “hayy, howz…”

There were quite a few more thoughts, some best left unspoken.  To not be a bitch, I turn and greet him, “oh hello, I am doing well, just getting ready for my meeting.  How can I help you?”.  The tone was professional, it definately had the “please go away” vibe, and I was not sending out any signals.  Well, when you do not send out signals, guys create their own I guess.  He proceeds to say, “Ohhh, you’z playin’ all shy with me, don’t be scared, daddy doesn’t want to hurt you unless you wan him to” (spelling errors are for emphasis, don’t report me to Webster).

Remember when I said to you, I had quite a few thoughts in my head?  Well, just multiply those thoughts by a factor of 10.  What in the world just hapened here?  Did he seriously just tell me he wants to play rough with me with a sexual undertone.  I am at a workplace right?  Well, I said … “You know we are at a workplace and what you said might be taken the wrong way”.  I do not want to get him in trouble, but I do want him to go away.  He continues, “Oh girl, I want to show you what trouble I can cause…”  I stopped him right there with a firm right hand holding out the non-verbal but harsh “stop”.  Then I said, “ok, stop.  I have a meeting and I am trying to nicely tell you to go away please, I have a lot of work to do, and you are not being very professional, and I am putting that nicely. Can you go please?”

He looked at me and says, “no need to be a bitch, f-you, I have plenty of other womanz I can ask out. What make youz all mighty?”.  I was so fed up at this point, and at this point, a couple colleagues had already heard all this and were shaking their heads.  I stood up, looked at him and said, “that’s enough.  You are one of the rudest individuals who I have met and I have tried to be nice, but enough is enough.  I am going to give you two options. I pick up the phone and call HR, or you can go to that little storage room, find yourself a chair and sit there for 10 minutes in time out. You can call that the Penalty Box for your bad behavior.  After that, an apology, followed by … never speak to me again!” Sound good?”  He just looked at me petrified.  I followed up with “You have 5 Seconds”, and he looked at me like I was the insane one. He walked into the storage room, sat on a crate and I said “don’t worry, I am timing”.  It was hilarious.  After he was dismissed, he left hurridely and I did not see him again that day.

Now…

What gives men the thought that they can just walk up to someone and assume that they have an automatic date and if a woman says no, it just means yes.  So annoying.  Workplaces are a great place to meet people but have some decorum. Rant over.

The rest of my day was productive, but it did take me a good hour of wasted time to get back on track but I actually ended up finishing all my work and was able to leave on time!  That was awesome.


Quote of the day

” I would rather struggle & work hard for everything I have, than have someone tell me “you wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for me.” – unknown

I prefer to be an independent woman!

Author.

 

 

 

The Journey Begins

Thank you for joining me!

1I am a young woman who works very hard at her career, finds time for friends, faith and fun.  I love giving back to the community by volunteering, mentoring others and trying to navigate my way through this crazy thing we call life.  Like all of us, I am a special being who wants to inspire other women to speak their mind with grace, poise and confidence.  This is exactly why I have created this blog.  I want an outlet not only for you, but for myself.  I am going to try and post daily thoughts and inspirations and encourage you to join my journey.  Let us learn together, laugh together and if needed, cry together.

May I ask you for a favor?  Well, I guess I have to ask for the favor before waiting back for an answer since we are not having an active dialogue, ha ha.  Follow me.  Like the posts (only if you enjoy my writing).  Write to me, I need the encouragement.  Share this blog with your female friends.  I want to help other women out there, and I feel I have a lot to offer.  After all, if you honestly did not like my posts, you can always “unfriend” or “unfollow” me at a later time.  Just spread the word and be a part of my journey, so we can make it our journey and hopefully the journey of thousands of women all over the world.

My blog is simply …. www.whatwomenwant.info!
(because someone took the .com)

You might also see me listed under whwowa (I was creative and took the first two letters from What Woman Want!  See… I’m a genius!

Before I scare you away, follow me. Share me. Be my partner on our life journey. I cannot do this without you.

Sincerely,
… soon to be your friend


Today’s Quote:

“The comeback is always stronger than the setback!” – author unknown (heck I should just claim it)

 

The Journey Begins

Thank you for joining me!

1I am a young woman who works very hard at her career, finds time for friends, faith and fun.  I love giving back to the community by volunteering, mentoring others and trying to navigate my way through this crazy thing we call life.  Like all of us, I am a special being who wants to inspire other women to speak their mind with grace, poise and confidence.  This is exactly why I have created this blog.  I want an outlet not only for you, but for myself.  I am going to try and post daily thoughts and inspirations and encourage you to join my journey.  Let us learn together, laugh together and if needed, cry together.

May I ask you for a favor?  Well, I guess I have to ask for the favor before waiting back for an answer since we are not having an active dialogue, ha ha.  Follow me.  Like the posts (only if you enjoy my writing).  Write to me, I need the encouragement.  Share this blog with your female friends.  I want to help other women out there, and I feel I have a lot to offer.  After all, if you honestly did not like my posts, you can always “unfriend” or “unfollow” me at a later time.  Just spread the word and be a part of my journey, so we can make it our journey and hopefully the journey of thousands of women all over the world.

My blog is simply …. www.whatwomenwant.info!
(because someone took the .com)

You might also see me listed under whwowa (I was creative and took the first two letters from What Woman Want!  See… I’m a genius!

Before I scare you away, follow me. Share me. Be my partner on our life journey. I cannot do this without you.

Sincerely,
… soon to be your friend


Today’s Quote:

“The comeback is always stronger than the setback!” – author unknown (heck I should just claim it)